I'm writing this entry while feeling my eyes rather puffy (you see, I cried a lot today), running my tongue over my sensitive teeth (I used whitening strips today) and regretting eating a bowl of cereal (went over my daily caloric intake).

I woke up, laid in bed for a while and listened my host mum cleaning up the house. Then, I got up and made my bed then ... brushed my teeth and ate my usual breakfast: 1/2 cup of oatmeal with 1/2 cup of oragne juice and 1/4 cup pf water, 1 cup of green tea in my New Orleans mug with 1 tbsp of honey and finally I glass of water. Except that today I used the 1/3 measuring cup instead of the usual 1/4. I wasn't paying attention. I should've known right then the kind of day it would be.

Next I... don't remember what I did. I was hanging out in my room and I think I tried to read Tim's book. I can't recall. Then I started stretching, I'm supposed to be doing it every night before going to bed but I haven't lately. But due to the music I was listening to - Marilyn Manson - I felt more energetic and stretching couldn't quite fulfill me. I should have gone out for a walk or something to get some exercise but I didn't.

Afterwards I did something in the computer, I think and ... aum... I don't know. At some point I did sit down and read Tim's book. I just can't bring myself to finish that book! Tim is my friend. He was my teacher a few years ago. He now is a publish author and his book is dull, at least the first two chapters. I think he send it to me, as a result of my persistent request, I think 2 years ago and... I haven't finished it. I'm forcing myself to but it doesn't speak to me...

I was snacking the entire day, I didn't have a decent meal after breakfast. I hate it when my host mum waits till we run out of groceries and orders online... She's so sloppy, how hard is it to drive for 10 f&^%$#g minutes and shop?

Mmmm... then... I don't know.

Eventually I decided I needed to get out of the house but had no idea where to go or what to do. You see, in order to pay for my trip to Alaska I need to live on 20 dollars a week for 3 months. As a consequence, well, there aren't many places I can go to or things I can do.

I was thinking of going to the movies or Borders - my favorite bookstore - and finally got out of the house and drove away.

I had been on my way there for 10 minutes and I found myself making an U-Turn and heading back to the house. WTF? I know. Well, I was thinking: if I go to the movies I'll be going over my budget and probably end up buying junk food that will make me fat, I don;t want to got o Borders and sit and do nothing and I don't want to be driving around like and idiot wasting gas because I would have to replace it. So I was back at the house.

I decided to go to Great Meadows with my tripod and camera and photograph the sunset and maybe take some self-portraits.

Fortunately my best friend here, Katharina, called me and distracted me. I was talking to her while walking and found the perfect spot to sit and watch the sun set like an old lady. That's where I took my deviantID.

I like Great Meadows but there's something missing... I don't have the feeling of being in the middle of nowhere like on the Rock Creek Park. I like that feeling. I feel free. And I haven't felt free in such a long time.

I came back to the house and hung out in my room, yet again. I don't remember what I did. I guess I tried again to read Tim's book and succeeded for a few pages. Then I felt like reading Harry Potter, out of the blue.

I went to get The Prisoner of Azkaban - hardcover, which I dislike - and played the soundtrack and suddenly said to myself: wouldn't it be awesome if a disneyworld-like theme park were built but about Harry Potter? On second thought, it would be a little too commercial - more than it already is - but how cool would it be to be standing inside a real life replica of Hogwarts? I tried to visualize it and I found myself crying! God! I had forgotten how much I like Harry Potter. And I remembered why I like it and what it meant to me on another time.

I read the first chapter and closed it and when out of my room - I noticed the lights were out - and watched Touts les matins du monde. I got it from the library a few days ago. I loved the movie. It made me cry. Such sadness... despair... hopelesness. I felt sorry for Madeleine. I think I could've have ended up like that had I not moved to US - temporarily, of course. I also flet sorry for... aum.. I forgot his name, her dad. I loved his face. So full of sorrow and love. His loneliness deeply touched me. I felt like reaching out and hugging him.

Then, I remembered my own dad. And missed him terribly. I began wondering of how white his hair will be when I finally see him after 2 years apart. Will his chin disappear due to overweight? How different will his voice be? And now I'm teary again...

So you see, this is how I spent my day off, the President's Day.

Just like the movie said: Each day dawns only once.

This day will end and never repeat.

I thank God - if there is one - for that.